A child who is self-motivated and can set their own goals falls under the self-driven category. In this article, we will explore six ways to raise a self-driven kid.
Every parent wants their kid to become self-driven. But only some of them can teach this important skill to their children. The author of “ The Self-Driven Child” William Stixurd and Ned Jhonson shared the reason behind it.
They said today\’s children are being denied a sense of ownership over their lives. William Stixurd also said that well-meaning parents and schools are unknowingly taking away the necessary opportunities from youngsters.
\”When we experience a healthy sense of control, our prefrontal cortex (the executive functioning part of our brain) regulates the amygdala (a part of the brain’s threat, detection system that initiates the fight or flight response). When the prefrontal cortex is in charge, we are in our right minds. We feel in control and not anxious. So, the fact that kids are feeling more anxious, by definition, suggests that their amygdalas are more active, which indicates that they are more likely to feel overwhelmed, stuck or helpless. \”
Multiple types of research revealed that lack of control is the most stressful thing that people go through. There are various ways to solve this issue. According to the educational psychologist and parenting adviser Richelle Whittaker, “Self-motivated kids have a core belief that they can do hard things or things that might feel unpleasant, even when they fail at first.”
You should build self-confidence in your little ones to help them become self-driven. Follow these simple steps every day to boost positive self-esteem in your kid.
6 ways to raise a self-driven kid
1. Act as an advisor
If you are scheduling the kid’s entire routine daily by yourself, there is no scope for the child to contribute something of their own. You have to provide your kid with the right amount of guidance and ownership so that they can develop discipline. Tell them the ground rules, give them a structure and advice if needed but don’t set the goals.
Ensure that you are helping your little one to see the broader version of life rather than limiting themselves to classroom teaching.
2. Accept their assistance
In general kids between 5-6 shows interest in house chores. Allowing them to do so, increases positive reinforcement and bolsters self-esteem. Wherein rejection leads to negative feelings.
If you accept their assistance, don’t forget to praise their contribution. In case you have to turn down your kid for time constraints or the intensity of the task, assure them that you will let them help you next time.
3. Curate opportunities that enhance their self-confidence
It could be simple tasks like pouring water, helping you wash the dishes, hammering one nail, etc. All these will create a sense of accomplishment within themselves. You can also enroll them for Tomoclub.
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4. Don’t compare your kids with their classmates
Every child has different attributes. Comparing them with each other is not a healthy thing. Instead, find where your kid is lacking and provide them with solutions.
Some kids might do well at the age of 9. It doesn’t necessarily denote that they will be excellent in their 40s. So stop comparing.
5. Address their issues
If you feel like your kid is down for a few days or not behaving like themselves, it’s time to address the issue. Initiate a conversation around it. Normalize talking about stress and mental health-related matters.
Introduce them to breathing techniques and meditation to calm their nerves. If you feel like they are panicking irrationally, share the real facts and data behind the fear.
6.Give them the freedom to fail
Seeing your child failing, can be taunting. But failure is the backbone of success. Let them know about famous people who have struggled and then achieved success.
Teach them ways to embrace mistakes and how to overcome them.
If you maintain these steps, you will surely see the results after some time. Keep encouraging and motivating them.